I have re-surfaced

Well .. a couple of hours after I wrote that last blog and released that demon..i got sick...for all the years I have been studying metaphysics I know that after you release some old negative pattern you get a "cold" as all that negative crap stores in the body as mucus. Well almost 40 years of bad relationships man did i have a lot of crap. I was sick in Kingman and then came to Meadview to an rv park in the desert and have hardly left my rv...the women here have been making me home made soup...today i actually have a voice and feel like its starting to break...13 days...man.. found this on a guys site http://www.spiritofra.com/Numbers_1.htm ..his theory on the numerology of illness words:

Acute = 14/5

A spike of excess negative energy, causing a physical response within the body. Constricting (4) the flow of energy due to low self-esteem (1) for example, situations that involve mucus (14/5) generated by a “head cold”.

Cold = 16/7

A karmic number indicating a messianic behavior pattern (i.e., feeling personally responsible for making certain that there are no mistakes so your image remains intact and unchallenged.) This can also represent a time when responsibility can seem overwhelming (6) causing self-esteem issues to arise (1). This can lead to “forcing an issue” (16).

A cold is the energy that reminds us to let go. It brings about a state of being incapacitated or paralyzed in some way physical, mental, emotional. It provides time to investigate the lesson to be learned.

So i had to hustle and get on to my real estate ventures as i have got to make some money soon before credit cards run out. so found some fabulous fixxer uppers that are bank owned in kingman in the historic downtown area right beside historic route 66...very cool i love it...so am looking for investors to assist me in financing a purchase...and looking at $50k and under!! anyway now that the lack of confidence is no longer holding me back...its time to move forward again... I want to thank all my friends and family who have been leaving comments I love you and your support...will get back to posting more often now so you don't think I disappeared.

No More Cloudy Days-Eagles Video

I picked up the new Eagles CD in Arkansas and this song moved me to tears everytime I heard it, through forests, deserts, mountains and traffic. Because I have been re-introduced to some Scientology techniques to clear away old programs or engrams combined with what I have learned from the book Eat that Frog which is making me look at what specific thing has held me back so many years from my success in my business and the profound effect this song has on me I believe I have hit on it. So sharing with you now...look away if its too personal..I know now that my lack of confidence is one of the main things that has held me back no matter how hard I worked for my own success and I had always attributed it to my childhood experiences so I have been working through that stuff for like 30 years...and felt pretty clear about all that but Eat That Frog made me realize that it is still a lack of confidence that was my yoke. Around Christmas , a couple of nights before I was going to Hollywood and still at the rv park in Vegas, I awoke from a dream that the man I was in love with and was in love with me was with someone else right in front of my eyes...and ever since my Arizona vision quest in June my "seeing" abilities have increased (which is why i think i know where I have to go to stay on course) to the point that I pretty much wake up from a dream in which i am already analyzing it like almost every day..very profound mornings in the old Empress. Anyway I immediately started recalling all my serious relationships and very quickly saw that I was cheated on in everyone of them ...not that I didn't know this already but I knew instantly that it was a direct link to my lack of confidence. I knew I had given my power away in those relationships and that it took 5-10 years in between each one of them to recover and get back into business and back on to my own personal path. But it was sooooo clear that my Self Confidence was majorly impacted every time it happened.. sounds so simple but I hadn't seen it so clearly. Anyway the point is this song has really pushed it all to the top I think...and I posted a comment on Youtube thanking Mr. Frey for writing it not trying to bring anyone down really I am happy about this...I just wanted to share how I am processing stuff happening on this journey and preparing myself for even more gifts!!